SUGARBEACH

This time every year, since I was 8 years old, I stand in front of a mirror and make a resolution to lose 20…or more pounds, exercise and finally, keep it up. Always feeling slightly puffier from a few extra glasses of seasonal eggnog, shortbread and mince tarts, I am determined to pull it all together and take revenge on those fat cells.

Yes, every year I delve into what has been my ‘program of torture’ only to find myself daily sneaking the Almond Roca and Purdy’s Pecan Rolls I found in my stocking.“Stop yourself…you are so awful!” Oh yeah, I’ve got self-talk that would have Louise Hay settling into a 3 month depression.

So today I sat down and considered what 2011 would be like if I just stopped.

Not stopped taking the odd bite of things I enjoyed but stopped beating myself up for never having one day of ‘skinny’ in my whole life. There has not been one moment when I didn’t lean forward to dip into a guacamole bowl and feel that little roll threatening to flip right over the top of my pants. Not one second, even when I was so much thinner, when I didn’t wish that I liked the feeling of elastic, spandex and lycra that are so useful in those ‘suck in the back- fat’ garments.

However this year, I am starting a revolution against self-punishment.

I pledge to do my best to keep myself healthy and living longer…(I mean really, have you seen my wife? I don’t want to miss a minute I could be having with her!) but I will not deny myself every delectable pleasure that’s put on a party table and nor will I buy into having to be the weight of a curling iron in order to feel valuable… cause baby I got a lot more to offer than a six pack and pigeon legs.

I’ve got music to write, videos to film, LGBT artists to promote, human rights battles to win…I mean really how the hell am I going to keep that up on carrot sticks and cottage cheese?!

Happy New Year Everyone!

About 2 months ago, I was wandering through our local music store debating the possibility of purchasing a cube amp. For you non-musicians, it is a very small amplifier with a built in speaker to use mostly with an electric guitar or any non-acoustic instrument…so you can hear it. It wasn’t a necessity but I kept fantasizing about how nice it would be to practise in our living room, with it’s large windows and uplifting sunlight instead of our dark music studio which was the only place I could plug in my guitar.

I was convinced the brighter room with it’s view of the forest and the river would inspire me to run scales for unending hours and thereby soaring my guitar skills to monstrous levels.

I needed something light and tiny and thought that a cube amp at about 8”x10” would easily fit under the couch in-between practises.

They were a bit pricey so I held off. This wasn’t up there in importance with curing world hunger or paying down our Visa bill, but nevertheless, last week I found myself in yet another store in Texas this time, once again perusing the cute, squatty little boxes and once again, deciding…not right now.

Yesterday, I’m drinking my morning coffee, looking out at the majestic evergreens, when I noticed a small, grey box laying on it’s back in the dirt with a guitar cable coming out of it. I thought, “gees that looks an awful lot like a cube amp….surely not!”

I gave it about half an hour to see if someone accidentally dropped it from a window above and was rushing down 17 floors to retrieve it, then, I scooted out the exit door and found it hard to believe that I was, in fact, staring down at a cube amp.

I brushed it off, all the while assuming it couldn’t be working otherwise why would it be sitting in the middle of the forest?

Cranked it up, plugged in my guitar and it worked like a charm, even has a tasty little distortion going on which could’ve been a result from the fall from God knows where but at this point I am questioning nothing.

I was blown away. How is it possible for me to just consider having something so obscure and find it literally falling out of the sky and landing 30 feet from my window?

Now I have had some amazing examples of manifesting in my life and my belief in manifesting is strong but even I was taken aback with this one.

Then it hit me, if getting what I think about is this fast and this powerful, what happens when I am allowing negative thoughts and possible disasters to run rampant in my mind? If we are this good at attracting what we put our energy on, we can’t actually afford to let anything but cool stuff and experiences that will bring us happiness, to fill up our heads.

So it begins…a concerted effort to nip every negative thought in the bud by immediately replacing it with it’s polar opposite. So when I put the chopping board on the top of the stove and accidentally turned on the element underneath it and snarled at myself under my breath, in that tone that I know really hurts my feelings, ”YOU IDIOT,” I immediately followed it with, “you are so smart, you should seriously consider joining that Mensa group.”

Sound hokey to you? Do what you like but I’m not taking any chances.

Also, from now on, after thoroughly enjoying my guitar practise, in my sunlit living room on my comfy couch with my new amp, I will sit in front of that same window and focus on that candy apple red Porsche I’ve been lusting over and keep my eye on the forest.

It’s glorious Gay Pride Season and as hundreds of thousands of gay and straight people fill the streets to view our highly entertaining community decked out in all its’ glory, we occasionally find ourselves being asked, “what is the purpose of all of this?”

We understand how it started…after years of harassment by society and the authorities, gay and lesbians who frequented the dark and secluded Stonewall Inn Pub in New York had finally had enough and turned on the police refusing yet another unprovoked raid, throwing rocks, bottles and stilettos, causing a revolution that filtered through the world, bringing with it the message that ‘we are not going to take this anymore!’

In the past 41 years, Gay Pride seems to have morphed into something even more personal for every individual who shows up to wave his or her rainbow flag.

For me it’s about being surrounded and ensconced in a colourful, creative and gorgeous group of people with whom I share many emotions and experiences. It’s a place where everything I am is not just tolerated but celebrated.

It’s those reminders to the world that we are not only here but bringing with us some of the most enjoyed and beloved artistic beauty and that our numbers are growing and our work will not be done until everyone of us is safe, equal and free.

Why the wild costumes and half naked bodies? How else are we going to get your attention? Would you all show up to read our banners and hear our messages if we were in overalls and plaid shirts?

Sex sells…we’re smart too.

So why are we so damn proud? We have every reason and every right to be and until the rest of the world realizes that, one of the best contributions we can make is to stand up, slap on some sequins and be counted.

Happy Pride Everyone!

When my brother and sister were children, life was quite different. There’s a large age gap between us (something I rarely let them forget) so they were raised in a totally different environment from myself.

In their time, it wasn’t uncommon for my parents and their friends to load their kids into the back of their gas guzzling V8, (without seat belts) and park at the local beer parlor leaving the kids in the car while they drank and socialized for hours on end, intermittently chucking bags of pig skins through the back window to keep them from starving. Then driving home if not drunk, certainly halfway there.

Believe it or not this was acceptable behavior 60 years ago.

Nowadays those kids would be picked up like money on the street and promptly placed in the care of child services and before they knew it they would be eating fish sticks and mashed potatoes with total strangers in their new foster home.

Sixty years doesn’t really seem like that long ago until you consider that Martin Luther King was still in theology school, John F. Kennedy was just a congressman from the Boston area and the Beatles hadn’t even struck up a chord together yet, so you could say a substantial amount of historical events and progress have transpired in this time. At this point, homosexual sex was considered a criminal act in every country in the world (195) with the exception of about 19.

So, in 60 years, we have brought women out of the kitchen and into the CEO offices and government power positions around the world, the Civil Rights movement abolished the segregation of African Americans, our children are better protected and the “no tolerance’ drunk driving laws are keeping us all safer however, there are still 80 countries where homosexual sex is a criminal act and in 7 of these it is punishable by death. How is it possible that almost half of the world is still so un-evolved and why is this our problem?

Hell, we can get married in Canada and in seven other countries and the U.S. are now up to 6 glorious “rights enriched” states, I mean really shouldn’t we just be happy with what we have and let the rest of them sort their own stuff out?

Sure that sounds easier except for one small problem…there is no “us” and “them.” That’s right, once you realize that the love of the same sex is what rocks your world then you are a full fledged, card carrying, responsible member of a community that not only understands you but desperately needs you to be as active as you can possibly be.

Does that mean you are expected to don a feather boa, some genital cinching Ginch Gonch and lip sync Gaga songs in your local Pride parade? Sure, if that feels right for you but if that is too far out of your comfort zone you can start by using this wonderful invention called the Internet.

You can blog, comment, tweet, read and become aware, post noteworthy articles and videos to facebook, write to governments when you see our brothers and sisters not being treated fairly…all of this without leaving your house. Activism comes in all forms and I often see many straight activists out there doing our work for us which is truly inspiring, so perhaps the least we can do…would be a great start.

Those 80 countries and 44 States need to know that this is no longer acceptable behavior, and if we are going to get the rest of the world out of 1950 we are going to need a lot more hands on deck.

Resources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_LGBT_history http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_the_United_States

The Red Queen exclaimed, “it is better to be feared than loved!” Although I’m not sure if I share that sentiment, I do think we gays must be damn scary!

It seems that 18 year old openly lesbian, Constance McMillen just wanted to go to her prom with her girlfriend as her date and the school cancelled the whole damn shindig rather than let her do just that. (They lost that battle by the way- A judge in Mississippi ruled that that the school violated her rights but didn’t make them reinstate the prom.)

Then I hear some woman named Sandy Rios who is the president of the Culture Campaign (what is that exactly?) calling the new Lady Gaga videos' lesbian scenes “disgusting” and the whole video “just poison for the minds of our kids.” Now call me madcap but this all sounds like fear to me. Ms. Rios’ criticism surrounds artists continuing to push the envelope and crossing boundaries.

Newsflash: that is our job. Its called art and evolution and its been going on since the beginning of time.

The ancient Greeks artists painted sexual scenes on their ceramics, many of them depicting same-sex relations and we can’t forget the Japanese Shunga Netsuke carvings (those tiny ivory figures in fabulous sexual positions), they’ve been around since the 13th century. Elvis had parents freaking out with his pelvis movements in the 1950’s–so much so that they had to film him from the waist up only to get him on TV and will we ever forget Madonna’s Sex book or planting one on the lips of Brittany Spears?

Artists have taking chances and moving our society forward by doing one thing…pushing the boundaries. Even the civil rights movement was nudged along with the help countless folk singers and the musical “Hair “ with its racially integrated cast in 1968.

As humans we seem crave to live in a sexually free and natural state without the suppression that governments and religions have put on us. Instinctually we know that it’s not right to be told whom we can and cannot love, how we must love them and what we view.  As artists if all we do is play it safe then we are re-creating what’s already here not breaking new ground and affecting change.

So to that Vice Principal in Mississippi, here are the facts- your students cannot catch homosexuality. The only way it seems to “happen” to heterosexuals is when they drink too much alcohol or when given a long prison term.

You weren’t trying to protect your students from possibly feeling uncomfortable seeing Constance and her girl slow dance–I believe it’s your own discomfort with those frightening gays you were projecting.

Now Ms. Rios I, doubt that there has ever been one case reported where a child has become gay from watching a video. Unless they already have that inclination and then seeing it in a video is a gift to them of realizing they are not alone.

I’m sure l Lady Gaga is thrilled with all these opposes to her video hell you can’t buy that kind of publicity!

Every time one of them goes public with their fear and disgust those you tube hits turn over like a winning slot machine.

And as for our young tuxedo-wearing activist Constance, well I would say you should be very afraid of her. She knows the law and her constitutional rights and she has no respect for your rules and your homophobia-she my friends, is the new generation of gays and lesbians benefiting from the bravery and sacrifice of many generations of artists and activists who have come before her and she, with her young brothers and sisters may one day be able to enjoy a world where the words, “lesbian” and “poison” are not in the same phrase.

For those of you who haven’t heard, allow me give you a quick summary of what is currently going on over there. The world is waiting to see what Uganda is going to do with the present proposed bill on the table from a strong Christian and a member of parliament, David Bahati who has decided that having homosexuality illegal in Uganda with up to a 14 year prison sentence attached, just wasn’t enough and that it was essential to try and put the following laws into place:

• Gays and lesbians convicted of having gay sex would be sentenced, at minimum, to life in prison (I’m not quite sure what other kind of sex my wife and I can have…perhaps they could be more specific)

• People who test positive for HIV may be executed (That makes sense because living with HIV simply isn’t punishment enough -by the way make sure you include all those women who got it from their husbands and passed it to their many wives considering that Polygamy is still legal there)

• Homosexuals who have sex with a minor, (anyone under 18) or engage in homosexual sex more than once, may also receive the death penalty (Now that could be tricky considering homosexual sex is a bit like potato chips…its hard to stop at just one)

• The bill forbids the “promotion of homosexuality,” which in effect bans organizations working in HIV and AIDS prevention (The absurdity of this speaks for itself)

• Anyone who knows of homosexual activity taking place but does not report it would risk up to three years in prison (Can you say…Nazi Germany?)....

But wait there’s more…

• They are also proposing a witch-hunt for Ugandans that are having homosexual outside of the country. (Yep they want us to send ‘em on back to be penalized and that includes individuals or organizations that support LGBT rights…Yeah we’ll get right on that!)

One of the reasons for this sudden desired genocide of the queers is supposedly an effort to control the spreading of HIV/AIDS in Uganda. However considering a large percentage of the population do not know how HIV is actually passed and only 15% of HIV is spread through gay activities, I believe it would be safe to say that lack of education…not the gays, is the problem here.

Of course, if this bill gets passed, I’m sure Ugandans will be flocking to the clinics for testing and treatment knowing they could face life in prison or the death penalty.

Several countries political leaders have put up opposition to this insanity, the U.S., Canada and Britain have spoken directly to Uganda’s president who was mocking the fact that all they wanted to discuss was “the gays” and a big flamboyant kudos to the Swedish government for saying that it would revoke its $50 million development aid to Uganda if the law came into effect, calling it “appalling.” The same month, the European Parliament passed a resolution against the bill, also threatening to cut financial aid to Uganda.

However, even after potentially contributing to the possible starvation of millions of his fellow Ugandans David Bahati is not deterred. “We are determined to defend traditional family values and to stop the recruitment of our children into homosexuality,” he has vowed. (Homosexuality recruitment…we never thought of that …perhaps we could get drag queens to set up kiosks in the malls like the army does…with big posters saying, “ Adam Lambert wants YOU!”)

Uganda wants the right to live differently from the rest of the world with their own set of values and beliefs.

You see Uganda the problem is, there is a common understanding that people actually need to commit horrendous crimes, like murder in order to be sentenced to such stiff penalties. Oh, and there’s also that pesky little International Bill of Human Rights with the UN and surely one of those American Evangelists that are rumored to be at the root of all of this mayhem must have mentioned that commandment that is on God ‘s top ten list …Thou shall not kill.

Seriously Uganda, you cannot win with this one. So how about you go back to the drawing board and draft up a new bill that saves your international reputation and your people and try taking a step FORWARD this time

It’s a shame about your weight…. you have such a pretty face!
Translation: you would be gorgeous if you were just a head.

It’s no wonder I found myself detaching from my body at an early age. I’d spend every cent I made on expensive hair products and skin care, to primp, fluff, fuss, pluck and take care of …the head.

In fact I don’t actually remember having a full-length mirror growing up…I didn’t need one.

It got to a point where I would actually look into the corner of the room when getting out of the shower to avoid any possibility that I might catch a glimpse of anything below… the head.

It all changed when my gorgeous wife began force feeding me an aquarium full of vitamins, organic foods and made me stand naked in front of the mirror and dance or at least send wooing messages of love to my body and yes, she even began playing with that one part of my body I keep locked away from world at all costs... my upper arms.

Her small, nimble fingers slide their way nightly through the covers and rest on either side of that floppy bit before I can protest or ward her off (which is pointless as those same delicate fingers turn into steel handcuffs if I even dare to try and stop her).

She rolls it, squeezes it gently and whispers, “I love this part”.

So I figure, if she can do it, so can I.

Slowly but finally, I’ve begun to look down.

“You'd better brace yourself for a whole lotta ugly coming atcha from a never-ending parade of stupid”.

One of my favorite lines from the show Hairspray. Even though it refers to the struggle a young interracial couple in the 1960’s were about to face, it also applies beautifully to the homophobia the GLBT community faces all too often.

 Since when is it okay to grant human rights and then just take them back? ” Oops sorry, we thought you were just as good and deserving as everyone else but we made a boo boo.”

 So I’m trying figure out, what are they so afraid of? That we’ll all marry, breed more gay and lesbian children, take over the world and genocide the straights? What do intelligent people do when they are trying to decide whether a system will work for their country?

One method is to see if there are other countries with that system in place and see how it is working for them.

Did Canada’s moral fiber completely snap when the queer’s said “I do?” Did the economy collapse in Sweden when same sexes strolled down the isle? Did God cast Spain into the Mediterranean Sea upon hearing of the legal lezzy hitchings?

So what is the basis for this argument? C’mon now, we’ve all gone down the Leviticus list and unless you’re willing to give up shellfish and no longer allow divorcees to remarry, you can’t just pull this one from the pack because it suits some unresolved homophobic issues from that experiment in college you can’t seem to forgive yourself for.

USA-we love you…seriously… many of us even look up to you and count on you to lead and be a shining example for places like Uganda who are going backwards with their policies…but that’s another blog… and most of all we expect you to keep your word…liberty and justice for all.